Chapter 105

the story about the author

 

      I have no practice at telling this story because – I haven’t. Haven’t told it. I’ve kept it to myself. That is a curious thing. Now in my looking back. How could I not-have? I think. How can anyone keep something like this to themselves. 

      But then again I thought… who’s going to believe me? And, everyone will think I’m crazy. And then there’s worse – the proverbial stone throwers. Surely I will be attacked.

      Then, there’s the ‘I’m not good enough’ syndrome. Because – I wasn’t. I have often at times intermittently led a poor example. Worse, I’ve gone off my path at times and fallen prey to life’s many temptations. I’d be a hypocrite if I came forward.

      It was all so confusing. I wasn’t sure exactly what to do. But today in looking back, I’m thinking …hmm – a Bow in the sky, that seems pretty biblical to me. Very, ‘far out there’ in the miraculous-contact-department. Could all that wow-factor have just been for little me?  

      I’ve been known to bloat a large ego at times but come-on. Even I couldn’t go so far as to think that-that was about and for me – only. There must be a deeper reason in it. And… in the biblical passage which I read correspondingly after it, it did say ‘it was for everyone’.

      So why didn’t G-d just come out and tell me ‘to-tell’ everyone? Or even, what-to-say. G-d only Knows. 

      And why would He need me?

      I’m thinking it’s because G-d needs us. He needs you and He needs me. He needs us to help each other. And help ourselves. As part of His plan. We have to do-the-thing. That’s why we’re here. We don’t grow our higherselves unless  …we grow our higherselves. So, obviously I was supposed to do something; G-d only knows what. But – I finally figured out with my thick skull to get this book done and out. 

      He did more more more than His part – in my life. Time for me to somehow ‘come through’ ~ for myself, for people around me, and for Him. 

      So how? I wrote the book. Poured in there the lessons I’ve learned and the experiences I’ve had. I told about my event with Jesus. I told about my encounters and conversations with God. But what if it isn’t enough? What if it doesn’t reach and touch people? Well the only thing left is… the kitchen sink, of my personal life story. Okay so here goes. 

      Really …it’s a whole ‘nuther book. 

      I …grew up in Philly until I was about six or seven, then our family moved to New Jersey – yuk, where I was beat up by neighborhood bullies what seemed like every day. We spent summers in Atlantic City on the beach and that is where I fell in love with the ocean.

      I fell off a 3-story building stairwell there, spent good times on the boardwalk as a kid – fun, and fondly remember the hot roasted peanuts, the Philly cheesesteaks, the soft frozen custard, the Coney Island hot dogs, and the hot soft pretzels. I remember happy times in that summerhouse, my grandfather Poppop Sam, my grandmother Nanny, sea shells, and an old radio.

      I already told the ‘coming down the stairs’ story in the book so you already know about the momentary flash of-all-knowledge which I experienced as a child.

      At 14 we moved to Miami, Florida, and I was unsure what to expect. When on my first day or so there, a knock came at the door. I went and looked and saw a young boy my age outside. I opened the door in fear thinking okay, here comes getting beat up by the neighborhood kids again like Jersey when, this boy grinned widely and said, “Hi I’m Teddy, I live over there across the canal, I have a boat and if you wanna go out sometime let me know.” He shook my hand and welcomed me, and now at 51 years old writing this I am tearing-up, ‘thank you Teddy’.  

      We went out on his boat the first day and I took one look around at Biscayne Bay, the flat green salt water, the coves where he took me waterskiing, the reefs where we slurped up tropical reef-fish for his fish tank, and there gazing upon the sea, the boats, the sun in our faces and on our shoulders ‘I was home’. I grew absorbing-in those times and the sea until manhood, and even then continuing on all my life.

      After high school ended, and after that last horrible summer which I spent being sent to a torturous disciplinary-school in Maine because my parents thought that I had skipped too many classes my senior year in high school, my having been already accepted into college, I then proceeded on to university at FSU in Tallahassee – Yay!

      I had so-o much fun in Tallahassee that it should have been illegal. At FSU I received a degree, but that was the most-useless thing that I accomplished there. I met the greatest lifetime friends anyone could ever meet. Was given my dog Tori-boy. And there in the woods where we lived, is where all of the described `Divine Contact experiences began to occur. They are strewn throughout the book and so I will not elaborate here, suffice it to say you can read Rumba Lane; that walk that day in the woods on the path; it was their time; wooded place; Jesus; and the bow, to get to those times.

      These times were the high point of my life, and even more so I have a suspicion, that they may be the high point, of the eons of time, of my created soul, unbounded from this lifetime, and even earthly life, possibly the high point of thousands upon thousands of years of incarnations, and floats of space. 

      My story would be incomplete if I did not say that these-years involved the beginnings of my close contact, love, Training, close-found relationship, and Experience-With G-d.

      I would say so much more, but truthfully these things were so personal that they absolutely defy transcription. Yet fret not, because I have faithfully handed over the experience for all to enjoin in on, in this book.

      During these defining years, I was handed an ancient Tibetan hand-written manuscript Book to read, by someone special, for me to study, and eventually hand-write out for myself a copy, as part of my training, and then I went on to read everything I could get my hands on which ‘felt right’. I particularly read and liked all of the desert prophets; and of course the main texts from all of the world’s main religions; as well as many other spiritual readings, in order to try understand what was happening to me, and my place in it. 

      I think it is important to note that; I would have never, gone this path, nor saw fit to begin any personal self-transformational growth process, had I not been inescapably Pushed. Meaning; had not G-d politely smacked me over the head with all of this. I’d still be ‘sleeping-me’ as before. Certainly nothing would have driven-me to improve myself putting in hard work and effort. So I would have never benefitted, from all of my work, that would have otherwise been left undone.

      So damn human. Flawed through and through. Hmm maybe I’m not that much different now who knows. But;

      To me, all my prayers; are answered. And – I find my answers in G-d. More than I could have ever imagined. My [and our] growth potential is unlimited. I spend my days gardening. Meaning; pulling the weeds of my lowerself, my animal self, the negative emotions and expressions in me like hate, anger, greed, ego, selfishness, fear, doubt, causing them to wither. While all the while expanding my higherself, planting the seeds of positive fruits; growing my love, courage, generosity, sacrifice, joy, compassion …goodness.

      But; without that elbow to the ribs – knocking out my breath, I would have never enjoined with the greatest experience in the Universe. So I am thinking everyone might need a good elbow to the ribs and a loving tap on the head.

      After college I returned to Miami where I’ve lived ever since. I returned to the sea, the ocean air, and the flip-flops, shorts and tank tops, which currently comprises my entire wardrobe. Although I once had a bunch of suits for my many years in the mortgage business – yuchhk. I traversed my life, its illnesses and accidents, its good times and funs. I loved and laughed, and on the side, began over the years scribbling out writings, which upon my finding myself later, with no career, after the real estate meltdown and economic-skydiving that we today find most of ourselves in, and in a-quiet-space of free time, I began finally to write all of this out.

      I recently lost my home, and all my material possessions, during a hurricane and due to a mold-episode, including many years of my health, at the coinciding time of the economic DOWNturn, where I also lost my company, my career and all livelihood. Finding myself absolutely Job`-like I grabbed on tight to my lessons and used them to save me. Having no work, no career, no health, no possessions – I rented a very-cool one bedroom condo right smack on the ocean for myself and my then old 2nd dog Napoleon`, and ‘began to write’. Luckily I had enough money put away from 25-years of career, to carry me ~ floating comfortably at least for now, through, during these quiet-times now of writing. And so we come upon the completion of this book, and my good right feeling home inside of G-d where I have always resided.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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